rope photo, futo 

also in addition to having a rope fetish i also have a sub-fetish within that for uplines

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rope photo, futo 

this self tie was done while waiting for a covid test to finish lolol. feeling a bit achey :/

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rope photo, futo 

love futos cuz there are like an infinite number of ways to do them and many are good

DISTURBING: i got 4 covid vaccines and now this is me 2 years later (video of me shaking bc there’s a vibrator in my pussy)

I don't own a calendar. I don't own a clock. I can tell that time has passed because the onion has grown.

sa, chess, pg 

context is im very late to the hans drama....
also nobody made a big deal when _i_ dropped out of a slcc tournament 🤔

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sa, chess, pg 

posting gremlin told me to post "anybody who's not going to sexually assault me wanna play chess?" but then i realize it might need a content warning but then i think its much less funy so here now you have this framing device

sometimes the posting gremlin is doing words, but also sometimes its just listening to music

sorry for my posts im just trying to get my post count up.wanna be like one of
those 270k toot masto acounts

cant wait to work an extra day next week!
stealing 5 avocados today

oh uh cw for drugs there i guess. but like, idk. i worry too if i were more honest and vocal about this in the wrong places or the wrong ways then it will scare people so much ill end up in a place i cannot leave. which, uh, doesnt make me feel less suicidal. which, to be clear, isnt actually a risk here

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but yeah i guess two jobs ago i dealt with this by smoking weed all the time but then just had a psychotic episode so

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i think the dissociation too is just caused by stress and inability to communicate. i can like tell why whats happening is happening at a systematic level, but it doesnt do much good

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i really wish this were organizable but. like. seems out of reach

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i also dont want to leave this job because honestly the last few jobs i had were all worse

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cw mentions of self harm 

so i was sitting in the walk in freezer unable to move. i think when things used to feel overwhelming i used to self harm a lot so that i had like visible evidence the situation was Serious
of course nobody with power ever cares

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